


Memories

by grumby



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:35:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23684002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumby/pseuds/grumby
Summary: “You’re Sildar, right? Doctor Hallwinter? A bond engineer.” She sounds like she already knows the answers to her questions.She looks familiar, he thinks, but he knows he wouldn't forget meeting such a gorgeous elf. Especially not with a name like Bluejeans.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup
Comments: 36
Kudos: 108





	Memories

Sildar’s hard at work. He’s covered a whiteboard in equations and runes, and he’s got dozens of sheets of paper covering his desk. He chews a pencil as he considers the next line of the formula. 

Behind him, the door to his lab opens, and he turns to see an elf he doesn’t recognise walk in. She’s wearing a sundress and sunglasses pushed up onto her forehead, her long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. “Hey,” she says warmly, passing him a disposable Fantasy Starbucks cup of coffee before taking a long swig of her own. 

He’s absolutely sure that if he’d met her, even for a moment, in the Institute’s cafeteria or one of their stuffy cocktail parties, he’d recognise her. She’s absolutely stunning. 

“Thanks?” He says, confused. “I - I’m sorry, who are you?” 

Her face immediately falls. She looks indescribably sad for a moment, before a smile appears on her face again. It doesn’t quite reach her ears. “Oh, I’m, uh, Doctor Bluejeans.” 

He looks down at her legs, and then back up to her face, chuckling. “Yeah, with a name like that I’d probably avoid denim too.” He takes a sip of his coffee, making the decision not to comment on her lack of appropriate lab attire. “Oh, you got my order right!” 

“Yeah,” she says, not elaborating further. 

There’s an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds. “So, you a new hire?” He asks. “What’s your doctorate in?” 

“Yeah, uh, Physics and Evocation.” She answers him. “You’re Sildar, right? Doctor Hallwinter? A bond engineer.” She sounds like she already knows the answers to her questions.

She looks familiar, he thinks, but he knows he wouldn't forget meeting such a gorgeous elf. Especially not with a name like Bluejeans.

“Yeah,” he says. “Physics, huh? Mind taking a look at this equation? It’s, uh, kinda top secret, so I can’t tell you what it’s for, but I’ve been working on it for months and I’m not getting any traction.” He indicates the whiteboard, filled with his scrawled and messy handwriting. “If you need any bits read out to you, I understand, my handwriting’s not great -” 

And before he can even finish the sentence, she’s erasing part of his equation. She rubs out where he’s put 25.4 with her sleeve and puts 25.38 in its place, and works her way down the board correcting the subsequent lines of the formula as if she’s memorised it. 

He runs through the maths in his head. “Holy - holy shit,” he exclaims. “You - you got it just like that? You must be a fucking genius.” He turns to look at the desk, and begins rummaging through the papers, looking for his notebook to copy the new equation down into. “Shit, we’re gonna have to tell Davenport, he’s gonna freak his bean,” he laughs. “I’m not meant to tell you this, but I’ve been working on the bond engine. This baby is gonna put people in space.” 

He’s still scribbling in the book when Lup notices the change. It’s an indescribable thing, absolutely unnoticeable to anyone who’s not spent a century with the man. He doesn’t quite gasp, but he breathes in sharply, and his posture changes – his shoulders slump, he puts a hand to his forehead like he’s developed a sudden headache. Lup knows Doctor Hallwinter has vanished and Barry Bluejeans - her husband - is back. 

“Hey, Bear, it’s okay,” she says, putting an arm around him. “You’re okay, it’s okay.” 

“Fuck, Lup,” he says. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise, Barry. This isn’t your fault.” 

She wraps him in a hug, and he buries his face in her neck. She feels him quietly sob, and the neckline of her dress is quickly soaked in his tears. 

She’d forgiven Lucretia, but, here, with her husband crying in her arms, it’s hard to remember how she’d worked up the magnanimity. 

She’s woken up to Barry having a panic attack before now, not recognising their shared bedroom. She’s found him digging a fifty-foot deep hole in the garden, desperately believing the Light of Creation is buried just another couple of feet below him, and that if he just keeps digging he can save this plane. 

He’s forgotten her dozens of times, and every time she has to play along, resisting the urge to grab him by the shoulders and shake him until he remembers her, their life together, the Starblaster, their mission. 

She knows that, sometimes, Magnus and Merle wake up on a Monday with no recollection of Sunday. Magnus says that he once lost 48 hours, and when he came downstairs, he found that he’d carved all his firewood into ducks. Merle forgot his kids for a whole day, and left them alone in the house for eight hours while he walked on the beach. 

Davenport still has days where he can’t speak, can’t feed himself, can barely manage to get dressed in the morning. He won’t speak about it to any of them, but Lup knows he can barely stand to look at Lucretia. He’d grit his teeth, bite his tongue, and dash away when he saw her coming, and even on a good day he’d sometimes open his mouth and only his own name would fall from his lips. 

That’s not to mention her brother. 

Kravitz rang her stone early one morning a few weeks ago in a panic. Taako had simply disappeared. He’d taken the clothes he was wearing and vanished. He’d reappeared that evening, after they’d spent a day panicking and searching, and explained that he’d forgotten Kravitz and Lup and the Starblaster; he’d thought he’d had a one-night stand and that he’d have to leave or the militia would close in on him for Glamour Springs. 

It had been easy to forgive before she’d seen the worst of the consequences of the decision Lucretia had thrust upon them. 

Lup rubbed circles on Barry’s back and made comforting noises. 

She herself had got off fairly easily. Claustrophobia and a fear of the dark were not crippling, and the occasional screaming nightmare was hardly unique in her family. 

Sometimes, in the dark, curtained chamber that was the inside of that _fucking_ umbrella, she’d sworn to kill Lucretia. They had been family, sure, but it was hard to remember that as she listened, helpless, to her husband asking her best friends _“Are you afraid?”_ and having no way to tell whether or not he’d gone insane without his anchors, without her. It was hard to work up any love for the woman as she listened, raging against the prison she herself had created, as a pair of liches dropped a washing machine on her brother. 

She wasn’t sure she could ever look at Lucretia the same way. They’d been sisters, once, but now whenever she saw the scars, both physical and mental, on her husband, her brother, her whole family, her blood ran hot with fury and her heart beat so hard in her chest she thought it’d explode. 

She exhales heavily, looking down at Barry. He’s stopped crying, but he hasn’t let her go. 

She doesn’t know if she could live like he had for a decade. She doesn’t think her lich form could survive the onslaught of emotions that came from having her anchors ripped away. She’d have burnt up. 

But he’d been strong for her, fought his way through it all for a decade, and he’d forgiven Lucretia despite all she’d done to him. Now she could be strong for him, and work on doing the same.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment or a kudos!


End file.
